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Self-Esteem
and the Entrepreneur By
Skye Thomas Tomorrows
Edge Isn’t it funny
how people think that being
self-employed is so cool? They
think that you get to take lots of
vacation time and spend all of the
profits. What they do not realize
is that you put in outrageous amounts of
blood, sweat, and tears to get there.
They do not know that you have to
take the blame for every single thing
that goes wrong. They do not know
how many times you fell flat on your
face before making it work. They
think that you simply come up with a
cute little idea over dinner one night
and within a couple of months you are
flying high living the rich man’s
life. The reality of the situation
is very different. Statistics
consistently show that most successful
entrepreneurs failed a handful of times
before finally finding that winning
formula. It is during the failure
years that you earn all of those future
vacations and big fat salaries. Delayed
gratification takes on a whole new
level, doesn’t it? One of the
toughest things to learn during those
failure years is the self-esteem that
comes with it. Self-esteem does
not come from having everything come
easily and effortlessly. Real
self-esteem comes from having worked
yourself until you’re almost in tears
and then having someone tell you that
you are working too hard and ought to
just quit. Real self-esteem is
explaining to your folks for the
umpteenth time why you are still poor
and struggling at self-employment
instead of getting a ‘real job’ and
making lots of money as a salesman like
your baby brother does. Real
self-esteem is deciding to learn from
your mistakes instead of giving up and
quitting. Real self-esteem is
being financially bankrupt and giving it
another try anyway, because you just
know that this time you are going to
make it all come together. These are the
types of events that form good
businessmen. Ladies, you know
I’m including you in this too. Real
self-esteem is when you tell your
husband that you are not going to give
up on your silly little dream and that
it is not just a stupid hobby, it is
your company and your career
aspirations. These types of events
give us the backbone it takes later to
be able to make the tough business
choices that make the difference between
breaking even and making a profit.
These types of events teach you
how to stand up for yourself and what
you believe in. Self-esteem is not
having to justify your business
decisions. You know what is best
for you and your company and you really
do not need anyone else’s blessing,
approval, nor support. If you
cannot do it without someone cheering
you, then forget it. It is not
called other-esteem, coach-esteem, or
friend-esteem. It’s called
self-esteem because you have to muster
it up all by yourself. You do not have
to have a lot of self-esteem when you
launch into self-employment, but you
will learn it along the way or else you
will never make it to that luxurious
lifestyle that keeps floating through
your daydreams. To get started,
you just have to really believe in your
product. Nobody can really be 100%
positive that they are going to succeed
at their first attempt at
self-employment. After you have
had a few years of failures and some
successes, you start realizing that you
actually know a thing or two compared to
the newbies coming into your industry
behind you. There will always be
someone who knows more then you and
someone who could learn from your
experience. Self-esteem comes from
knowing that you can learn and that you
will continue learning until you get it
right. Do not expect to feel
perfectly confident all of the time.
It is all a big game and you have
to find the rulebook while trying to
master the game. I once opened up
a fortune cookie while struggling with
the decision of whether or not to launch
my own company or not. The message
inside the cookie read, “The world
needs your gift as much as you need to
give it.” That little fortune
has since fallen apart and been thrown
away, but I always have a newly typed up
version of it scotch taped to my
computer monitor. It has reminded
me many times over, that I do this not
for the money, but because it is who I
am. What else would I be doing if
not running this little company of mine?
Sometimes, we
entrepreneurs keep going simply because
it is who we are. We are a
different breed and it is part of how we
define ourselves. The way that
others are musicians, or politicians, or
teachers, or doctors at the very depth
of their soul, we are at the depth of
our soul entrepreneurs. We must
play at that particular game because it
is what we do. Sometimes we have a
spiritual mission behind it, or a vision
of the world being better off for having
purchased our environmentally safe
product, or a deep belief that people
can be helped and nurtured by the
services offered by our company. It’s
who we are; it’s what we do. Self-esteem
shows up later as a result of reflecting
on just how far we have come in our
attempts to accomplish such an important
goal. Self-esteem is
not knowing that you will succeed.
It does not come from having all
of the perfect craftsman’s skills and
the perfect level of education before
starting your own company. It is
knowing that you can acquire whatever
skills and knowledge you do not yet
possess. It is knowing that you
are capable of working hard and
tenacious enough to see it through to
the end. It is knowing that as
much as you appreciate the cheerleaders
in your life, that you would keep going
even if nobody else believed in you.
It is knowing that you do not know
everything you need to know but that you
are capable of learning more. It
is knowing that the world needs your
gift as much as you need to give it.
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